Christmas (with pictures from my sister.)

Christmas eh. Ah yes Crimbo. Well after not going to bed until about three in the morning on Xmas Eve I was awoken by one of my sisters coming in to my room to say that we were going to open the presents...about nine o'clock. Exhaust-a-mundo. After being taken away from slumber I had to wait to open the presents until my Nan got to the house...and after a half hour my brother and my Nan came through the front door and the tearing could begin.
Here is one of my presents...

This is chutney with a load of garlic thrown in to it. I had a little and it wasn't half hot (I ate it with some cheese and biscuits at the end of the meal and it tasted divine dude or darling.)
The presents that I interacted throughout the day most with was my new attire, my two new books (M.R James short stories and an early American writer who lived in the late 1700's whose life intrigued me) and chocolate which I only touched with my mouth in order to consume it.
Here is my clothes and top hat that I was given...

Also do you remember in a previous blog that I went home in about early December (a few posts ago) to see my dad play someone in a small little musical from my two sisters old dance group...and that my dad wore a fake beard.........well here is that beard!

We also ate a tasty meal...

...and gave each other head locks in pictures.

Here are some more pictures that some people of my family won't frown about me putting on my blog.

What the tree?

Seasons greeting to all.
Over and Out.
ED

P.S---This is my 50th blog post. Woo hoo yup yup!

Lights.

When I saw this BBC session of Interpol performing their song Lights I couldn't not share it. I am absolutely dedicated to their cause.
Oh yeah and happy Christmas Eve to all.



Over and Out.
ED.

True Blood.

I think by now everybody knows my view on what vampires should be like if you have been reading my blogs or have been (putting up with) listening to my ramblings.
There are many shows depicting vampires nowdays such as; Moonlight, The Vampire Diaries, Being Human (which is probably the best of the lot...and not just because it is a British production) and True Blood. I have only ever watched one episode of Moonlight and that was it with the American shows. I have the first season of Being Human on DVD and I have watched the second series of that show... edgy but sometimes a bit too serious by the way.
I began to feel that I should watch one of the American shows and put my views to the test so to speak. I began with watching a few clips on youtube of True Blood. The humour is good, everyone has nice Mississippi southern accents (everyone knows that they are the best yank accents) and by the looks of it it seemed decent and entertaining enough to intrigue me.
The next thing I did was to go on wikipedia and find out about what is going on with the storyline.

For season one it said;
--- "The main mystery of the first season concerns the murders of women connected to Sookie's brother."
Wow, a death or two is involved, it's the first time in ages that I have heard modern vampires doing what they should be doing and actually killing someone every once in a while.

For season two it said;
---"Season two focuses on two main plots – in the first, the disappearance of the 2,000-year old vampire Sheriff of Area 9, Godric, causes Eric to enlist Sookie and Bill's aid in finding the ancient vampire in Dallas. Their paths cross Jason's as he seeks to discover meaning in his life with the Fellowship of the Sun, a church dedicated to anti-vampire activities."
Wow I thought...this is intriging me. I shall read about the third season forthwith.

This was the pivitol point in my making up my mind of whether I should give this show a try. I began to read about season three. It said about the introduction of lycanthropes into the show...which is fair enough. I was just excited enough to think that this might be a show for me until I read this;
"and Sookie's fairy godmother, Claudine. Sookie's heritage as part fairy is also revealed later in the season, a major plot element from the eighth novel, From Dead to Worse."
Fairies. I mean...fairies. Why do I have to put up with living in a society in which flipping fairies are being continuously associated with vampires. Vampires and fairies do not mix!!! I threw the laptop across the room and swore to the vampires gods to buck their ideas up.

I had such high hopes as well...I still might check it out though if the humour that I saw in the clips carries on throughout the season. I just can't get over fairies...what the hell!

I like the picture below though...sinister yet appealing.

Down to wussy vampires who go completely against their natures (and the point of their existence) by not drinking blood....and sparkle.

Over and Out.
ED

Joyous part 2.

I am currently reading the official sequal to Dracula, written by a direct descendant of Bram Stoker himself, Dacre Stoker. I wish to make a quote of Chapter 23 which sums up my entire view on bloodsuckers,

"For centuries, Bathory had been confused by the notion that God had created man in his own image. If it were so, then God was weak....Bathory had discovered the truth that even the lowly beasts had known for millennia: Man was easy prey, and his blood was like a fine vintage. She had wondered if the beasts that had tasted man's flesh felt the same satisfaction she did. The only human for whom Bathory held any respect was Charles Darwin. Survival of the fittest. Bathory was humanity perfected. Her powers of sight, hearing, smell and taste were tenfold those of a human, as was her strength. She was blessed with an even more powerful sixth sense, that of the mind. For centuries, man had marvelled at magicians who could manipulate objects, read and control minds. For Bathory, it involved no trick or illusion: She could enter a human's consciousness and force their mind's eye to see her as a wolf, gargoyle, rat or mist. Her powers had grown to the point that which she could enter a person's mind even from hundreds of miles away and have them see what she wished. She had the ability to move at incredible speeds. She could even levitate and move through the skies, soaring on the winds. Man needed a machine to fly. Bathory was indeed the fittest, the next level of human evolution."

UBERMENSCH.

Two posts in a day!

Over and Out.
ED.

Gothic Literature is Dead...Like Rock and Roll.

Look at the title. These are two things that I love but where the hell have they gone in this modern age? They say that rock and roll died and we are only seeing parodies of the golden age of rock. I believe (sadly) that this is true for gothic literature also.
I typed in 'Modern Gothic Literature' into google and came across a thread for people that were arguing whether the pure gothic existed nowdays. I agreed with what they all said...it was gone, we are only seeing copies of true gothic literature. Here is a comment.

Person: "No, there really is no real modern Gothic literature in the true sense; although I have written in that genre, I've also discovered there is no market for writing Gothic fiction in the tradition of say, Poe, or Ambrose Bierce. No one wants that anymore, they want Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice (who isn't really "Gothic" per se)."

Instead of the pure gothic a lot of writers that enjoy the genre have to adapt to the demands of the public. Creatures that have been used in gothic literature have been adopted by other people and have even crossed genres. The so called dark side has expanded and can now be explored not only in books and the theatre but in music and film.
But even though the pure gothic is gone, it still holds it's undying influence on popular culture and will never go away. Small blog post but this is what I'm up to at the moment.

Over and Out.
ED.

Joyous.

I was looking on youtube, looking at Anti- Twilight videos and I came across one that made me jump for joy.
People that read my blog know that I love the band Interpol. Well there was a video, an Anti- Twilight public service announcement. I looked at the user to see who posted the video and it read thusly...Username: Interpolnyc.
Interpol, I adore you even more. The person with the Interpolnyc account hates Twilight!...and likes a good band.
It also surprised me that most of the Anti- Twilight rants were made by girls. I'm glad there are chicks out there that share my passion for Twilight hatred and haven't been sucked in to the mediocrity. One girl even began quoting gothic literature and vampire folklore...amazing beyond belief. I genuinely think that modern society would be so much better without the Twilight franchise. I may be creating a new blog for people that are strictly Anti-Twilight. It is through looking at these videos on the Internet that a glimpse of hope has entered me. I dream of the day when this fad will have gone, but until then all I can do is try to hurry its demise
Here is the video I was talking about (Also please read my previous blog posts...obviously.)

The aesthetic of gothic literature.

"We shall see that at which dogs howl in the dark, and that at which cats prick up their ears after midnight."
H.P Lovecraft.

"The process of delving into the black abyss is to me the keenest form of fascination."
H.P Lovecraft.


"Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly."
Ambrose Bierce.


Now I am personally not a dark, unhappy person but I do love gothic literature and weird fiction; Bram Stoker, Edgar Allan Poe, H.P Lovecraft, Mary Shelley, John Polidori and so on. This sort of fiction presents things to the public that no other form of literature can, a part of the human psyche that not everybody likes to visit.
In these stories are creatures that were spawned from the most primal, animalistic part of us that have been used as archetypes for our fears and secret desires. In the Cthulhu Mythos of Lovecraft are wide varieties of creatures and gods; such as the Outer Gods Azathoth, Yog-sothoth and their messager Nyarlathotep...and of course the High Priest of the Old Ones, the terrible Cthulhu himself. All of these beings were used in order to make a reader feel that humanity is small and insignificant in the great scheme of the universe and that there are forces out there that are beyond our wildest imaginings, that we cannot hope to stand against and survive...Lovecraft loved to take away human vanity. The ideas that Lovecraft were trying to put across in his writing were not very comforting...but that was the whole point. It made you feel something powerful, greater than most other types of fiction.
I think that Frankenstein is incredibly interesting. In the book Frankenstein’s monster is a terrible creature, a being who kills, who causes suffering on mankind...why should anyone like this monster? Well think again, casual observer. The reason that Frankenstein’s monster was evil was because humanity and his creator rejected him and showed him no love; it is why he turned to horrible acts on mankind. There is then the obvious question...Who is the real monster of the story? Is it mankind whose rejection of the creature turned it to commit bad acts or is it the monster?



Now I turn to the most popular monster of stage, film and book...the vampire. We are currently in an age in which this creature has been toned down so much that they may as well be called human. Popular culture has moulded it into an unimpressive, non passionate fairy. There are no more vampires out there that have the fearsomeness that I loved...they are not even the beasts of the devil that they should be. Old legends and myths of the vampire that have been around for thousands of years have been made all 'Hollywood' and feeble.
I think that the best revival of the old vampires has it's origins in the comic book industry with the publication of thirty days of night written by Steve Niles and illustrated by Ben Templesmith. Here is a quote from the man who Steve Niles pitched too,
"Steve gave me the pitch: a small town above the Arctic Circle in Alaska experiences 30 days of complete darkness each year, but this year something new happens. The vampires come out and very, very bad things happen to the inhabitants of this town called Barrow.
The pitch grabbed me and when I finally opened the portfolio and saw the art from the then unknown Ben Templesmith, I was blown away. These weren't the vampires I remembered from books and films. These creatures were nasty, rabid things that were the product of nightmares, not the debonair creatures of the night I was used to."
I have read the comic graphic novel and think that this is the way that vampires should be. If vampires existed in real life I would imagine them to be the vamps of 30 days of night; blood lusting, emotionally indifferent to their prey, fast and scary looking. It was made into a film which was equally good.
Below is a picture of one of the vampires of the film...and yes I would like to see Edward Cullen have a fighting match with him...because it is obvious to me who would actually win.


I like to think that gothic literature is a parody of humanity, it strips away delusions of grandeur, it is used as a commentary on society and to me I find it strangely alluring. Anything that people fear, try to repress or don't want to know about are things that I want to read and watch.



Over and Out.
ED

Hermann Hesse.

I am going to be annoyingly philosophical in this post so be warned. I was looking on the Internet and I happened, for whatever reason, to come upon quotes by a man named Hermann Hesse. He was a Swiss, German born poet, novelist and painter. He lived through the First and Second World War and saw things like the rise of Nazism in Germany first hand.
I began to read quotes that he made during his lifetime. I read them and agreed wholeheartedly. Wow, I thought. He seemed like a great man. Here are quotes that I thought really rang true for me.

“I am fond of music I think because it is so amoral. Everything else is moral and I am after something that isn't. I have always found moralizing intolerable.”
Hermann Hesse.

“The Truth is lived, not taught.”
Herman Hesse.

“People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest.”
Hermann Hesse.

“You are only afraid if you are not in harmony with yourself. People are afraid because they have never owned up to themselves.”
Herman Hesse.

“You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, single power, a single salvation... and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else”
Herman Hesse.

“Those who cannot think or take responsibility for themselves need, and clamor for, a leader.”
Herman Hesse.


Does anybody see truth in any of these quotes also? It's interesting stuff anyway. I'm off to get my mind blown by other quotes on the Internet. T.T.F.N.



Over and Out.
ED

I see my dad at the theatre with my silver tipped cane, wearing a fake beard.

I travelled home this weekend in order to see my dad do some singing and acting. When my sisters were younger they went to a dance school called Starlight Theatre School. Every year this theatre school would put on a production that they had been rehearsing over the year. There were times when a man was needed (of a certain age) to play a part...and so they asked my dad. When sister twin and little sister left he continued to be offered parts. So I travelled back to Leicester to see him play an old man in an interpretation of Mary Poppins.
As some people may know, I have been taking part in storytelling at my university. I decided some time ago that I wished to be a gypsy storyteller so the next step was to look the part. I compiled certain items of clothing; a hat, a white shirt, a waistcoat and a silver tipped cane. My dad took the cane for the musical...I distinctly remember him waving it about in a waving action at the end when everybody was bowing. I was wondering whether he could have nearly hit a child...but he didn't. He was wearing a big, bushy beard throughout the whole thing (he played the part of the old man who died laughing after hearing a joke...and they they flew a kite...not my dad because he was dead, but everyone else did anyway).
The tale ends here. A good weekend. The earth continues to spin...to Christmas time.

Over and Out.
ED

In Defense of Metal Music.

I am a person of varied taste. I will like most things because I think that a lot of things have a lot to give a person. I have a philosophy on life that art should not be discriminated against for the most part unless it causes negativity. Art should be there for a person to see beauty in whatever form, for it to enrich life and make your existence extend beyond the need to survive...innit. It is through my eclecticism that I have heard and enjoyed many different types of music, but there is one genre which I wish to write about on this post...metal.
To most people that openly say that they don't understand metal music, the argument against the genre is that it is very ugly sounding and at times, through looking at the lyrics, it seems self destructive and morbid. Some Christian groups even say that metal or rock music in general makes youths unruly and rebellious...which is true but youths act like that anyway...but Evangelical Christians have always been whining about everything that makes life fun.
Many of my friends share my tastes. I have been to a few metal gigs and festivals and have seen the fans of the music. These people all seem very passionate. It seems that metal music attracts many passionate people. When the musicians come on there are cheers that rise and can be heard all around, people make the famous horned cornu sign with their hands, jumping up. When the music starts people are jumping about exhilerated, excited and joyful about life. People literally want to become part of the music. The music is played amazingly...most of the time.
Metal and rock music uses the good old skillful solo very well. In the old days there was a type of musician, the guitar wielding maniac, using the instrument as a weapon to awaken the world from slumber. There were also amazing drummers like Keith Moon and John Bonham who were well known for being absolute maniacs. Rock and metal is a safe and fun way to indulge in a controlled chaos, a way to unleash the animal within so to speak, the great beast that has to stay dormant for a lot of the time...stress relieving and fun. In life you are expected most of the time to be calm and collected...metal gives you the opportunity to have a good old freak out or as most people say, to rock out.
It is believed also that metal music is the sound for the misfit or the outsider. Many metal fans say that some bands that sign with major labels have 'sold out' because they have gone mainstream. Many people want metal to be underground, this is an opinion that is very much apart of the extreme metal subgenre, where there is a great distaste for the mainstream. In my opinion the mainstream is fine...some good things some bad just like everything else in life.
I have recently read an article which says that many intelligent, talented people turn to metal music in order to cope with being 'special.' I shall put a link at the end of this blog post. Metal isn't the music of thugs and so called Neanderthals. The fans are intelligent, creative and passionate for the most part.
So what about the morbid, scary lyrics? Well just as you get different genres of books you must also get different types of musical tastes. Life isn't all hippy, happy and so forth. You have to take the rough with the smooth and music reflects this just as any other art. You can't dislike some art because it 'appears' to be ugly. If you just focus on art that people think is pretty or beautiful then to me it shows a certain shallowness...not that I think that metal is ugly, it isn't.
Metal is also very theatrical. During the funeral of the famous singer Dio's funeral certain Christian groups protested while many of his fans came to pay respect to him. They thought that Dio was some sort of devilish figure. What they don't seem to understand is Dio was an absolute top bloke if they had the courtesy to research about him and see his interview, the so called devilish persona of Dio is an act that he put on. Take Alice Cooper for example. His stage persona is an evil badass that likes to be evil...when in fact his actual name is Vincent Furnier and he is a dedicated Christian...let's see those Christian protestors protest against old Alice Cooper ha ha.

I shall end this blog post with a great philosophical quote from Jack Black in the film, 'School of Rock';

"Dude, that is so Punk."


Here is a good article just in case you want to read.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/3352230/Heavy-metal-a-comfort-for-the-bright-child.html



"Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly."
Ambrose Bierce.

Over and Out.
ED

CD Review.

I have bought two CD's recently and I wish to share my opinions on them because I think they are gooduns. Shall I began?...what?...no I won't stop typing!

1.
The album 'Catching a Tiger' by Lissie Maurus is the first album that I wish to review. When you listen to the songs you feel as though you are in a field full of corn while it is sunny or you think you are driving in a car with the top down on a long stretch of road.
You can listen to what she was influenced by just by what you hear in the songs; blues, country, rock and roll and popular music. She has a gravelly voice that suits the style of her music perfectly. It is a free spirited march into a new sound that at the same time sounds traditonal. I heard that Lenny Kravitz and the filmaker David Lynch are great fans of Lissie as well as other celebrities who have got behind her banner of country sounding awesomeness. I'm a fan. It's honest and good and I think everyone should listen. My favourite songs are 'Cuckoo' and 'Look Away'.

2.
Here is the long awaited fourth album of the New York based band, Interpol. I have been into these fellahs for ages, they just sound different and I love the voice of the lead singer Paul Banks...I like to think that his voice sounds like a sarcastic, gravelly Michael Stripe from R.E.M. They are the very embodiment of New York.
It is sad for me to say that after the making of the album the bassist Carlos Dengler left because he didn't like the touring...which is a shame...that said the music is as atmospheric as ever, with the signature Interpol sound. My favourite songs are 'Lights' and 'Barricade'. Paul Banks, as always means everything that he says, it all comes from the heart, just like Lissie Maurus.

So there you are, the two albums that I have recently bought. Go check them out if thou wilt. I hope ye won't be disappointed.

Over and Out.
ED

The Good Old Films of Yesteryear.

A few days ago my the adaptor for my computer went completely wacky and died on me. This meant I could no longer do any of my writing at my house, neither was I able to catch up on the Shaytard vlogs on youtube or look at guitar and drums cover videos. This lead me with a conundrum. I had the choice to read but that was a daily ritual anyway so I decided to delve into my film collection to see a film to watch.
I did not look long. I was in the mood for something simple, charming and entertaining but with a dark twist. It lead me to pick up my Hammer Horror Box set. I took the film 'Dracula, Prince of Darkness' starring Christopher Lee and shoved it in the DVD tray thingymabob.
I relaxed into the film like a duck out of water. Oh you beautiful monstrous dark creatures of past films, I missed you so very much. Most people who are not under the sway of the annoying, bratty, pretty boy vampires of the present...this is what you should be watching. Noble, unflinching, bloodshot eyes and a handsome, noble face. People seem to forget what vampires are like. What about Bela Lugosi? What about Christopher Lee? These Gentlemen Beasts are the Truth! Dark outsiders who prey on humans seductively in order to bring the world into darkness. Dracula is the Prince of Darkness for a reason and will survive in the public consciousness longer than any of these modern sick parodies of the old ways of the creatures of the night.
Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing are my favourite actors. They are not only charmingly English but they are also jolly nice chaps (or was in the case of Peter Cushing 'was' a nice chap).
Vincent Price is a goodun as well. In fact here is an excellent video of Price reciting the famous Edgar Allen Poe poem, The Raven. Absolutely beautiful and atmospheric.



Over and Out.
ED

Pictures of Ed in his school days.

Ah memories on the hardrive, ye canny beat it. I happened to be looking through computer memory and came across some pictures from a few years ago between being 16- 18 years old. I think I look quite different. It was the days in which I gelled my hair into a comb over for some reason. Anyway here are the pictures...


This picture was in France when we went on holiday. I think I was sixteen and had just done my GCSE's. I think that this was one of the last pictures taken of me wearing short sleave shirts...come to think of it I don't even wear t- shirts anymore. I only wear shirts with buttons and collars in a relaxed manner...which is information that no one gives a hoot about but I'll leave in this blog anyway.



Yeah I know...the comb over. The person I am lunging at is my old mate Paddy who I met over the summer and hadn't seen since sixth form. Funnily enough he has short hair now...he's still ginger sadly.



My friend Dave did this ages ago on his computer. Me levitating...which I can do in reality...but only when nobody is looking.



This is a good memory. My friends and I always used to stay the night at my mate, Munchy's house(who you may or may not know from previous blogs). When it got dark and Munchy's parents had gone to bed we used to sneak out and walk around the village. It was literally deserted. In the picture we are sitting and talking in the middle of the road because there was no cars on the road at all. The parents probably wouldn't have minded if they found but we enjoyed the idea of doing something sneaky. That is all really. I shall end this with the last few pictures that I found...






Over and Out
Ed.

Wandering the roads back to Derby... like a gypsy.

I have been living back in Derby for few days and all is as it was when I left it some months back. The first thing that I did was hug the bookcase in my room where I had left most of my books and film collection and all of my graphic novels and most of my manga. I love my collections; my big book collection, my film collection (including cool B Movies and Universal Studio films from the 1930's) my graphic novels, my comics, my manga and my CD's (my Cd's are at home...if you wanted to know). My taste is somewhat eclectic. I don't discriminate on good art (notice I said good art...(maybe the last statement was a bit hypocritical on some level but who cares). I left my X Box and games back home because that is where they live...I'll just have to buy Halo Reach when I can and play it when I get back.

Anyway I missed Derby. I missed the smallness of it compared to most cities (aka Leeds where my sister resides. It's too big...but beautiul nonetheless).
Here is some funny stuff that have happened to me since I got back.

1. I was carrying my bags from the bus station to my house, butterflies in my stomach for some reason because I was back in this city. When I got off the bus I walked out of the station and was passed by a man dressed in a suit who gave the impression that he was going to work after a lunch break.
"Alright mate. How's it going?" said he.
"Fine thanks." I replied.
Oh Derby, how I missed your inhabitants saying things to me on the street for no other reason except to say hello. (I assume he didn't say hi to me because he was drunk...because he was wearing a suit. Therefore it may have just been a nice gesture.)

2. The first time I had to go to the uni was to partake in commitee training (because I am the scribe/secretary of the storytelling society...and we are an amazing society. After the first day of commitee training I bought some food at the Sainsburys that I pass on my way from Derby to the house. I bought what I wanted, payed for it and just as I was being handed the change the cashier said this,

"Sod it darling."

Hmmmmmm thought I. I smiled to her, said thankyou and left with my stuff. As I was walking back I realised that what she said in actuality was,

"Here yar darling."

I love Derby

I love back home.

I love jippos (apparently there is no gypsy blood on my mother's side...but my Nan spoke about being aware of gypsies around her where she lives). I still consider myself a gypsy though and WILL buy a wooden gypsy caravan sometime in the future.

Over and Out
ED

TwistyFest in Wales!!!

At the moment I am sitting on my bed with a cup of tea, with an unbelievable urge to impose my life experiences on people...not that I'm forcing people to read this at all. Lose all blah all ye who enter here.

Last Saturday my Mum, Dad and brother travelled to Wales to the location of the brother of me mother (I made that last bit sound like a rhyme on purpose.) This place is in the middle of the countryside, surrounded by mountains that go up one thousand feet into the sky. A few years ago we travelled to the top of one of these mountains and when we were at the top some sort of jet flew past just a few metres over us. In fact here is a picture of the very same mountain that I was talking about...


Now this was not a family event exactly. This was something else a little different...this was TwistyFest. Twistybach is the name of the old farm house residence that my uncle resides and what was taking part in Twistybach was a festival...hence TwistyFest.

About twenty or thirty people came altogether, most of them camping out in the field or going into the house opposite the other house. One of the houses is being changed or renovated if that is the right word and the other house was made by my uncle.

Now that I have given details of the TwsityFest here is a picture of some guns...



A shooting range was set up with balloons, bottles and anything else that could be used as a target. A few enthusiasts had arrived and really knew what they were talking about, reenactment people and so forth. It is always fun to watch people jump out of their skin every time a shot was fired.
We went for a walk just about a mile or so up the pathway until we got to an old ruin of a cottage. It was overgrown with nettles and was surrounded by sheep. You could really write a story about this part of Wales. It's really wild and the lack of civilisation only makes it better.

The night time was the best part of TwistyFest. There are no street lights for miles and so if you looked up at the sky you could see the stars. The icing on the cake was that people gt their instruments out; guitars, violins, their voices and so on and had a sing along.
I went to bed with my father about one in the morning (my mum and brother had already gone to bed) and fell asleep. I woke up during the night and turned over and saw the window. All I saw was stars. We should have taken a picture of the sky and the people singing and playing instruments. The grub was nice as well.

Here ends the tale of the TwistyFest.
Over and Out.
ED

Ed has one more summer occupation...lumberjack (with pictures.)

Here is one more thing that I have done over the summer. On the driveway of the family house we have this massive tree that has never been lopped or cut by anyone since I can remember. Over the years the tree had got a bit cheeky, the roots sneaking underground to next door and sucking on some of next doors water supply. It also shed it's leaves over next door. This tree had to know who was boss. So with a saw, an axe and one more saw we went out to kick some tree butt and give it the hair cut of it's life. Observe as you travel through our journey through massive tree to the finished result of the cutting and the chopping.





As you can see from the pictures, this was a beast of a tree. Also on the left of the picture you might be able to see the windows that I painted.




Here is my brother, my mum et moi standing in the chaotic mass of leaves and branches of our own creation. Two things that I wish to point out here. 1. I am wearing my hat. 2. My brother is wearing his glasses below his googles. 3. You wouldn't know this but as the picture was being taken the tree was shouting insults to us because of what we were doing. As you can see from our happy faces we were doing well at ignoring the tree.




Here is my brother up the tree, sawing another branch off, wearing goggles and glasses at the same time ('Oi, six eyes). You can't see this in the picture but on a roof a pigeon is writing an angry worded letter to the government complaining about the unauthorised destruction of his home.



"Hey Mother! Stop bothering that horse! You should be using that rope to pull down branches!"...I am so funny.



An upper story view of the battlefield.

It was done. We had chopped the heck out of the tree, gone through the fire of sawing stuff and now it was all over. We felt like gorillas or chimps in the forest, surrounded by branches (well I did anyway)and all that was left was to clear away everything to the tip. It took two cars and four journeys for each car to clear everything from the front. Below is a picture of what everything was like when all was finished.



To commemorate this day it was decided that we would take one piece of cut off branch and get someone to carve something. It was thought that the best thing to do was to carve the face of a wizard.

That is it really. It is not long before Autumn, it is the first day of the fall on the 23rd September. CRIKEY!!!

Over and Out.
ED

My brother is a year older, a family gathering and a quiz with curious questions.

I shall relate to you three events in my life in no particular order that I have experienced between this post and the 'I love Interpol' post that came before this.

Yesterday (August 10th) my brother turned twenty two. He has glasses by the way. I am the only male in the household that doesn't have glasses and also the only male that actually wants them...oh yeah and his name is Thomas...or Tom (other nicknames include Astill, Pastill, Ryan Stiles, Harry Potter and T. Whenever we are all watching television, if anyone happens to be wearing glasses or is tall we say that it looks like him...it's why he is called Ryan Stiles.)
My brother is a bit of a boffin know- it- all when it comes to building mechanical stuff so he got a clock building kit (we're all boffins in one particular field in this family).Then there was also a book on cars (I just went into his room and he said that it was in fact TWO car books that he got.) My parents bought him an amazing ukelele shaped like those 'V' shaped guitars that you sometimes see. Oh yeah and he got a nuclear bomb as well but I may just have lied about that one.
He got a Toy Story cake which I ate (this time I ate the cake and the icing at the same time...very unlike me). I then got some Halo X Box action from my brother where he 'pawned me' as non-gentlemen gaming fellows would say.

Once every year my extended family on my fathers side have a golf day in which we all go and play golf and then gather at the house of the winner of the previous year. We even have prizes at the end. We celebrate the event in the name of coming together as a family and to remember my grandparents who brought about an explosion of the Astill family. In our family there are roughly eighty something people who all came from my grandparents. There was my grandparents, who brought my uncles and aunts into the world and then came everybody else. Now we are a massive family that live all around the place, dominating the world...and is still growing.
My twin sister and mother left the house about two o'clock to look after the kids and meet people early. My father, my brother and I stayed at home because we couldn't play golf. My sister was at work at the time. But anyway eventually my sister got back, my dad had a shower or three and we left for the evening meal. A pleasant evening. Every time I go I am surprised to see the children...they all seemed very Aryan, bright blonde hair and blue eyes. I was like that until my body decided that my hair should be brown.

Here is the last event to all who have read this far. Munchy and Dave (who you may know if you were a regular reader) and I went to the local pub of Munchy in order to take part in my first ever pub quiz. A few hours past and we came about seventh in the end. I'm fine with that. I believe the first prize was £10. It was fun anyway and none of us were desperately trying to win anyway. Dave and I went back to the Munchy residence and stayed until the next day, watchng a film and then leaving.

I believe that is it.

Have a goodun as they say.
Over and Out.
ED

Adoration of Interpol.

Originally I was going to write a love letter shamelessly expressing my love of the band Interpol. I may still write one in some sort of tongue in cheek thing to show my appreciation for a band that I have enjoyed since I was short haired, spotty, comb over(ed) fellow in secondary school but I just wish to post this video in order for people to see it. My musical tastes are infinite and ever expanding; some pop to disco and folk and metal to name a few. If you name any song (within reason) there is a chance that I may like it...apart from obvious exceptions.

Anyway here is the video. The normal babble about my life shall continue after this post.
If you have come across them for the first time I hope it is a good experience.

Over and Out
ED

P.S---The video might be dodgy but please still give it a try. Wink.

A birthday party, playing Rock Band and a knackering walk...read on yah!

I have just returned from the house of Munchy after a celebration of the twentieth year of the life of my friend Dave. Dave and Munchy (their blog is in the followers bit to the side of this blog) and I camped out in the garden, each bringing our tents with us...apart from Munchy because we were at his house...and he had thrown away his tent some time ago because it said some very mean things to him. But anyway onwards with the story.

We arrived in Leicester at about 5:00pm, after being at the Munchy house for a few hours, at a place called Soar Point, a student type place where most people from Demontfort University go to (an inferior uni to Derby uni...just because of something that I like to call 'patriotic discrimination'...hence Derby is the best uni in the country).
We sat in the corner on some comfortable seats and talked about the usual things that young dudes talk about. After a while loads of people came in their...threes to wish Dave a happy birthday. It was through the coming of these people that I got a few good conversations...even though I was continually commented on giving off vibes of being quiet.
I got into some good geeky conversations which I'm happy about and found out about an event that is on at Demontfort which I may be thinking about going to.

After a few hours of chilled out chatter we headed to another place where I danced...surprisinging I never did the robot. I generally just moved my arms and feet in a way that suggested that I had a basic understanding of what dancing actually was. I may have seemed to everyone else that I was having an electric shocks through my feet which may have been a good excuse for my skills.

Twas just like Soar Point that we stayed at this place for about an hour then walked back to a flat of with my newly acquired aquantences in order to play Rock Band on Xbox.
We were all tired after a bit (as was to be expected) so Dave, Munchy and myself bid all adieu and headed to the bus station to return to the tents in the garden. We were waiting too long so we decided to walk from the bus stop in the direction of other bus stops. We did this for an hour until we passed a bus stop and was picked up. We travelled until we got to Loughborough, got off that bus and then walked for a few miles until we got back to the house and fell asleep in the tents.

The next day I woke up at 12:00am, said goodbye to Dave and bought things. Myself and Munchy then melted some Fruit Pastilles in the microwave and ate the goo, then I left.

One of the best times I have had this summer.

Where did I put my Fruit Pastilles?

Over and Out
ED

Loud women who want rent money and the bag of awesome.

I'm not usually one for doing two posts for two days in succession but I wish to write about today because vaguely hilarious events happened on my travels.
My sister came in to my room at 9am and told me to wake up. I think I asked her the time but I can't remember exactly because I was at that state in which you are a half vegetable that isn't quite sure what's going on. Cheese biscuits would be a more accurate representation of something that I might have said but... ya know.
Long story short I got on to a bus to St Margarets bus station, got a National Express bus to Derby and got off. My first job of the day was to go to Nicholas J Humphreys to hand in my keys for the summer and give them that rent money that they asked for. When I came in, there were two people behind their own desks both on phones, so naturally I waited until one of their conversations had ended, so I could do the deed. After about maybe two seconds I was daydreaming and didn't realise that one of them had put the phone down and was waiting for me to approach them.
"Yes duck." she said.
No response from me because I only half heard it while reflecting...and I thought she was talking to somebody else in the back of my mind.
"Yes duck!" she shouted...literally.
I snapped out of whatever was going in my mind (I'm not going to tell you what I was thinking because I wish to not give any spoilers to a work of creative expression that I might want to share in the future.) The reason that I am speaking about this part of my day is because she really belted out her words the second time. She had some real lungs on her...no doubt she was an opera singer in a previous life.
The bus that I needed to catch would come to Derby at 3:40pm so I had about three hours to spare. One obvious thing to do was to go to my house to see who was there but then I remembered that I had handed my keys in and I didn't want to go back and ask for them. I was so ready to get the rent thing over and done with that I didn't think about going to the house first and 'then' handing my keys in...I blame my higgeldy biggeldy creative mind for that oopsy daisy.
So what did I do...

"You went round Derby for three hours Ed."

Don't interupt me when I'm telling you a story. Well guess what? I went round Derby for three hours. I bought a sandwich and some mountain dew. (It was actually the first time I had mountain dew. Why is there so much hype about it? It tastes no different from Lemonade.)
I then bought some cool badges to pin to what I like to call my rock of awesome bag. I bought Jimi Hendi badges and cool British ones that said things like...
1.Keep calm and carry on.
2. Keep calm and rock on and
3. Keep calm and make a tea.

How British of me thought I.

I then got to the National Express bus on time, got home, plated up some Shepherds pie (because of... look at the previous blog) for my dad and I and then came up to my room in order to write this mass of words.

Peace and all that.

Over and Out.
Ed

Putting on suits to go around the village pubs.

I have been awake for some time because I can't get to sleep so I have decided that I'll write about last night and the previous day...and keep reading because it gets interesting.

For the past two days I have been hanging out with my two mates Dave (or ex why zero if you are familiar with his gaming exploits or are a friend of his on facebook) and Tom (who is mainly known as Munchy.)

Well before I tell you the suit story I shall talk to you about sneaking out at a late hour with Munchy and Dave in the village of Barrow for no apparent reason but to walk in the middle of the street because it is deserted during the midnight hours. We climbed over a fence to get out of the house. We could have actually used the door but climbing over the fence is apparently more quiet...I'll just leave it there. We were just walking around Barrow aimlessly just because it was cool and dark and it's what we used to do in the old days when we were mere secondary school students doing GCSE's.

The next day we all woke up and walked around Leicester City (and it rained...to be honest I was refreshed after all these days under the heat of the sun.) It was then suggested that we all go back to mine and have a walk around my village Birstall and 'chillax' in one the village pubs. Munchy suggested that since we all owned suits and we all happened to have them on our possession for some reason we thought we would get dressed up in them; ties, waistcoats, jackets and everything in order to go to the pub. This was done, in the hope that people think that we were important businessmen or Mods or just people with good style...or prats.
So now I write this blog as Munchy and Dave are behind me.
That is all. And remember that suit wearing is very important if your British...as are top hats.
Over and Out.
ED.

P.S A picture will be put up later showing us suited up.

My life over the amount of time it has been since my last post.

"Hey Ed, I'm reading these blogs all the time and I really REALLY want to learn about your life. Please post another of your amazingly spectacular blogs...because your writing is better than that Charles Dickens and since I've been reading your blogs I have come to the opinion that Dickens is an inferior writer to what you put on your blog."

You just read that first line in your head... which means that you were thinking those words at some point, hence you must think the same thing in that last paragraph. Why thank you. (*What your really thinking at this point is 'what a knob.' But don't worry I was jesting.*)

Here is a list of points in the last few days that stick in my head as worthy events to put into symbols and sentences for the sake of whoever or whatever goes onto this page.

1. You know I mentioned in my the secod blog before this that my mum might have some gypsy blood in her. Well this event is a complete coincidence to that. Well I'm staying at the family house at the moment, trying to get as much money as I can for next academic year at university and spending time with family. So anyway, I walked into Leicester City centre to go to the opticians because something seemed to be going wrong with my right eye (which is my lazy eye). I was hopeful that they would say that I need glasses. The examination lead to a mighty disappointment as my eyes were perfectly healthy and fine...dammit.

My mum (who works in the city) met me after the examination. (This part of the story is the coincidence bit). She told me that by the water fountain, on the grassy part, there is a group of gypsies doing a performance (a mummers play as my fellow storytellers would know it to be called.) We went there and there gypsies were attracting a good crowd. They were speaking spanish so we didn't know what they were saying but we had an idea of what they were doing through actions. One of the men was dressed up as a woman with cow udders, another man who painted completely red with devil horns (could he be the devil by any chance?Uh...yes). There were also two women dressed in black with corpse make up, the rest of the troupe were musicians. From what I could tell, the devil was trying to get a wife and he was looking for them in the crowd. My mums work break was over so she left. I stayed there for a bit, then decided it was getting hot and I was getting hungry so I left. But it was a triumphant display of folk entertainment and made me proud of being a Leicesterian.

2. I painted the house for my parents...well the outside because they asked me to do so. I was well up for the job, listening to the music in the sunny day, under the shade of the tree on the front, just painting and letting my thoughts drift as I wore my new hat.

That is all. I didn't get glasses.......I saw gypsies........I painted the outside of the house for my parents.......and I got my grades for my second year university course which I won't be saying on this blog for obvious reasons.

Over and Out Bye bye.
ED.

Going to a hog roast because I come from a gypsy and a boarding school graduate.

I went to one of my dads engagements with his old school today. He went to a boarding school called Ratcliffe College, between the years *mumbles* and *mumbles*. Anyway my dad said to the family if we would like to come and we all said yes because he said there was going to be a hog roast... and to support him when he did his speech thing I suppose (I'm being vaguely sarcastic...and by 'vagely' I mean we would have gone anyway to support him... but the mention of the hog roast sweetened the deal.)
The last time that I was at his old college I was about ten or twelve or something so I only had a small recollection of what it looked like.
When we got to the place I remembered immediately Ratcliffe College. My first reaction was how posh it was. It literally is a copy of Hogwarts, it even had a water fountain (just to say that my dad has glasses...I think you know what I'm talking about.)
We got there and ate some of that sweet hog...and stuffing...and salad. We had brought a picnic with us but we just brought that back home in the end. I intend to eat some of it after I finish this blog typing.

And now I'm back.

And that's about it.

Ooooh yeah. We sat down at the end of the day (back at home), for a bit as it was getting dark and watched a bit of Glastonbury on TV. We watched the Scissor Sisters and about twenty seconds of Editors. It was, during one point in one of ther funky songs, that I came to a very significant revelation in my life.........Patrick Stewart and Ian Mckellen sound exactly the same. One of their songs they had a voice that sounded exactly like Patrick Stewart. (It was the song in which the lady was doing a dance with that golden fabric and the main singer was singing in a ''mysterious'' tone.) But anyway I pointed out that the voice that they used for one part of that song was the legend that is Patrick Stewart. It came to pass that while I was in my room, looking at comics and inventing fictional people in my head, the thought came to me in a wave........oh my giddy parrot......that wasn't Patrick Stewart, it was Ian Mckellen. Those two amazing actors sound exactly the same.

Also word on the grape vine is that we lost to the Germans in football......meh, you can't win them all.

Abrupt ending to blog.
Over and Out.
ED.

P.S My mum is a little bit of a gypsy. There may be some gypsy blood in my mums family...hence I am a little bit of a gypsy...hence I must now travel the lands of Britain and be a bard or something.

My Review of Download festival.

I've finished reading my book today whereupon my unconscious self started to talk to me saying,
"Hey Ed, yeah you. Well um basically, you know you went to that Download festival just a day ago. Well I'm not pushing you or willingly being forceful but I reckon you should write a blog about what you thought about the performances and stuff."
"Thanks Thoughts" I proclaimed, getting up from my comfortable position on the lounge seat with sturdy jump. I back- flipped upstairs in one jump and went to my computer and began to write this post. (And yes I did back flip in one jump up the stairs and nobody can prove otherwise. )
So anyway I shall start on the exact moment that I arrived at the car park with my chaffeur and friend Dave. We got out of the car and took our supplies, hopeful that we shall soon experience the whirring of some funky performers. We waited with all our bags in line for a few hours and had our tents up and ready by about 11am. We sat down, did whatever and with contentedness readied ourselves for the coming promise of the many theatrical explosions that were awaiting us.
Altogether I watched about seven bands, all equally amazing. Them Crooked Vultures were the first bands that I was shaking in my boots to see. How could anyone who likes rock music not want to see a band that involved three wonderful musicians? There was Josh Homme (from Queens of the Stone Age) Dave Grohl (from Foo Fighters and Nirvana) and John Paul Jones (from the legend that is Led Zeppelin...I melted). This brotherhood that I saw on stage that day were the very definition of a super group for me. I got that feeling in which you realize that three people who you have thought were awesome for so long and read about in magazines and newspapers were ACTUALLY there right in front of you. All of the songs were amazing. I especially liked it when Homme said;

"I think that anything that brings people together can only be a good thing."

You could tell that each of them genuinely loved their job and were completely good, nice guys as well.

The most visually aesthetic performance was from AC/DC. They had a massive train on stage that continally puffed smoke, a bell that came down and the fun strutting about and fireworks that splattered the sky at the end of the set. The main reason that I went to AC/DC was to see the great strutting walk of Brian Johnson just because his enthusiastic stage presence made me smile.

I won't write for much longer because people might lose interest but I will say that Billy Idol and Slash were also pretty mindblowing.

All in all, it was a proper music festival. It was tiring but brilliant nonetheless.

Have good day, whoever is reading this at the moment. (I now write cheesy last lines to my blogs instead of attempting to say a joke...you just read the evidence to this statement in the last line.

Toodles bye bye bye bye bye bye
ED

Walking barefoot, burning my feet and cute kids listening to stories.

Yesterday a grand fete of special magnificence was held on the University of Derby tennis courts. There was everything, from Henna tattoos to 16th century pirates putting people in stocks and soaking innocent participants to this sunny day. And the storytellers came with their fertile imaginations and ability to attract people with their wonderful tales.
We had a place set up which looked like a gypsy tent or something you might have pictured to have come directly from Arabian Nights. This tent not only looked damn good but it was good shade...no clouds, too much sun...not much wind. (There has to be wind so that the sun doesn't completely kill energy. I don't understand how people can just sunbathe in the direct heat of the sun.)
For most of the day I had my shoes and socks off, even when I went in to buy chocolate and drinks inside uni. It was probably a good thing that the people looking around the antiques fair didn't look at my feet or they would have thought I was a right hippy...not that I cared if they did or not. When next year comes round at uni I'm just going to go into workshops and tutorials completely barefoot...I'll even rest them on the table while the lesson is going on...and while I'm at it I could eat packets of crisps really loud. I won't do that......probably.
We did get an audience of little kids who listened to stories from us storytellers, a few adults did as well but I don't think that that wanted to hang about for long because the sun was hot.
At about something o'clock... about two o'clock but I can't fully remember the exact time, the flying donkeys came (these are a group of professional storytellers that are organized around Derby. I talked about them in a previous blog...the blog where I go to one of their events with a friend and afterward I realize that I left my bag at the event, then have to go back and funny stuff happens.) Anyway the Flying Donkeys came and told stories to a crowd who had a sudden charge of enthusiasm for storytelling.
OH YEAH I ALSO GOT A FREE T-SHIRT SUGGESTING I WAS A VOLUNTEER OR SOMETHING!!! It made me look vaguely important.
I think that everyone will agree that it was a good (and somewhat chilly day....and by that I mean it was ridiculously hot.)
Tis all I wish to say for this blog.
Over and Out
ED

Jumping into a sea of hands.

Last night was amazing. I can remember it clearly. People that know me (stalkers are not taken out of this equation if I have any stalkers) I live in Derby at the moment because I go to the university. There is a place in Derby called the Old Bell that regularly has band nights. I went to one of these band nights...obviously. I went to see the band Gama Bomb. I had never heard of these fellahs before but from what I had heard of them they seemed good. My friend had bought tickets and I went with him. So off we toddled and entered into the arms of the Old Bell.
It seemed that their were a few bands on before the main act came on. In fact it seems that the drummer/vocalist of the first band added me on facebook, which is good. I then saw about two more acts after them (who were equally amazing) before we got to Gama Bomb.
Guess what I did during one of the performances? For the first time in my life I stage dived. My friend also stage dived and so did a few others......and yes we were all responsible stage divers.
Oh to the folly of youth.
All I can say the night was full of good songs, my ears are still ringing and it's about three o'clock in the afternoon.
I forgot to write this small story at the beginning. My friend and myself were about two minutes away from the Old Bell when someone walked past in the street. He turned to us and said something that went along the lines of,
"You both look like your going to the Gama Bomb gig."

"Yes we are" said I and my friend in unison (We may not have both said yes but who cares...this is my narrative dammit.

He replied thusly, "Oh man I need to shake your hand" He then shook our hands and walked off.


First of all, it is very nice of him for shaking our hands because we have an amazing taste in music (joke.....actually I wasn't joking ha ha.....that wasn't funny.) It would also seem that we 'look' like we were going to the gig. This either shows that both my friend and I both have appropriate style for whatever situation we are in or that person was psychic.
Any whoozle. Tis time to end this small entry into the story of my life.

I can't think of anything interesting or witty to type here........I went to Ed's blog and I didn't even get a lousy t- shirt. (Was that I funny joke?
Bye bye
Ciao.
Over and Out
Ed.

P.S---I may edit this post, as I always write blogs quickly. I should stop writing apologies for bad spelling, punctuation and so forth at the end of my blogs. I'm pretty sure that most people get the picture by now. See you in the next blog.

I've never told anyone this before but sometimes...I like to write titles to my blogs.

Here is what I have been doing over these past few days, DAHM INTERESTING STUFF IN THIS...probably.
Well I shall tell you what I have done.

1. Work... I think I'll just stop there.

2. Technically my first ever storytelling gig. Last Saturday I travelled with my storytelling brothers and sisters to Nottingham to tell stories at a fete. I told a story called 'The story of the Blacksmith"....by far one of my favourite stories ever, everyone usually loves that one. Another story I told lasted only five minutes called "Pippedy Pew."
Pippedy Pew
Me Mammy me slew
Me Daddy me ate
Me sister Kate,
Gathered up the banes
And put them between two milk white stains
And a bird I flew sing Pippedy Pew.

All in all a beautiful day. Also we could get free bacon cobs (rolls) because we were the entertainment. At the end I bought a toffee apple but I lost it for some unknown reason.

2. Filming. On Sunday I took part in a film about the Perv Busters.
Have you ever heard of the perv busters before?.....No.....ok, this is quite awkward...shall I tell you what the perv busters are?....oh alright then I will. (All of this part of this blog is entirely fictional because I wasn't actually questioning you. I was going to write about what the perv busters anyway...forgive me.)
What's going on? Oh yeah. The perv busters are a creation of my fellow Derby university brothers who film short clips. The perv busters are people that basically bust pervs, going to their houses and unperving them. The pervs tend to throws spoons and breath loudly... think of it a a zombie type film except zombies are replaced with perverts (the good, comical type pervert.) But don't worry because it is as crazy as it sounds, so it is definetly thoroughly entertaining.

3. I have also been doing other activities. The usual stuff. Ummm... doing cart wheels off sky scrapers, throwing jam at cash machines...the usual, boring stuff that everyone gets up to.

This blog looks like it's going to be a long one. Sorry.......and by sorry I mean I suggest that you get a longer attention span.
(Why do I always sound really mean in my blogs...it's meant to sound vaguely humorous. My severe apologizations.)
Over and Out.
Ed
P.S I just read through this post. It sounds weird and written badly...please read it anyway or summing or nuffing.

Long time, no post Ed!!!......music.

I wanna talk about the music that I have been listening to recently. I could talk about the coursework that I have been doing but I am having a break from that by writing this blog... and I can't guarantee that you will be interested in my research so I thought I will talk about music because everybody loves a bit of music in their life.

Righto the first artist I shall talk about is a sixties looking rock chick called Lissie. I happened to find out about her music while I was browsing on youtube for a good old tune. The first thing that I noticed was her voice (obviously) as it was quite gravelly. I quite like gravelly voices, they tend to suit folky/rocky type songs. She is travelling about Britain at the moment with some other musician who I can't be bothered to look up and remember. But anyway I found out that some time in the summer, August I believe, she will be in Leicester for some festival at the De Montfort Hall. I'll be in Leicester at the time but I'll have to see what happens.

...AAAnnnnd swiftly on to the second musician. Myself and my sister first saw this band when we watched Later with Jools Holland on BBC 2 just last night. They are called 'Villagers' but the focus seems to be the acoustic guitar player. From what I have learnt so far is that they are an Irish band who have represented Ireland in a festival that I can't remember. But they are really good. My sister and I can't stop listening to their song 'Becoming a Jackal.' They are on youtube if you wish to hear brilliance incarnate. I would post a link but this blog won't let me. Aw well sunny Jim.

Ummm I thought I was going to talk about another musician but I can't think of any more. Actually I will say that over these last few weeks I have been listening to different music than I used to. For about two years now I have mostly been listening to rock, punk, metal, 60's and 70's music and acoustic bands. But recently I have been branching out to other types of music that I originally never would have thought of listening to. But one thing is for sure. I will never EVER get into gangster rap. The only things that I discriminate against in this life is gangster rap, those retarded N'Dubz morons, chavs, The Office USA, Life on Mars USA, Law and Order UK and baked beans.

And on that angry sounding bomb shell (I'm not angry at the moment by the way, the words just make he suggestion that I am) I bid you adieu dear reader of this blog.
Over and Out.
Ed

My stay in the massive city of Leeds.

Right now I am sitting here, typing this post on my sisters computer as she is going round her house checking stuff for reasons that I can't remember. (She lives in Leeds, a second year English student.......and yes she is my twin........and yes I am older than her by seven minutes.)
But anyway I came to this big, big city in order to see her in a dance show that she is in for one of her societies. She was in two dances, one she danced to the Muse song 'Super Massive Black Hole', a band that we both really like. She wore a leather jacket and danced like a badass...literally. By this I mean she danced but it was meant to look like she was fighting...giddedy. Her second dance was based around school, where she is a rebellious student who suddenly jumps up with the rest of the class where they are being taught and then they just dance....to the disproval of their (pretend) teacher.
All in all a good show. We then went back to her house and went to sleep. The next day we realise that the car that was to take us away from Leeds had been clamped to those dahm people that clamp people (what is the title of people that clamp cars...clampers perhaps methinks.) This meant that we stayed at Hannah (my sisters house) for another night in which we spent our time talking and watching a film. And now is the next day to that day (which is a Monday) waniting for the clampers to come and unclamp the car so that we may depart this house and go to our destinations. With the luck of the gods on my side I shall be back in Derby by 5:00pm so that I may go to a Debating Society meeting and go with my debating brothers and sisters to the social gathering afterwards.
A very adventurous weekend if I do say so myself.
(Again this is written quickly so I may have bad spelling mistakes or something...so dunny complain alreet...geordie)
Over and Out.

Sound Lyrics!!!

I have invented a definition for a phenomena that we all know. Do you know that times when you are listening to a song that you love but you don't know the words to it, but you really REALLY want to sing it. Well I have the solution for you. It is called SOUND LYRICS (copyright E.J.N Astill yet everyone is welcome to use the term...I literally laugh out loud at this moment.)
This is the new name for the times when you talk nonsense words in place of the actual lyrics. For example......."We are the champions my friends" can be replaced by these nonsense words if you don't know what the lyrics are "Me mar ta rampons my mends."
Sound Lyrics!
For the times that you don't know the lyrics but you kinda know what they sound like... if that makes sense.
Within a year I intend this expression to go into mainstream use...maybe.
Take that English language.
Over and Out

Going to the theatre.

I have been home since about 3: 20pm yesterday and have quickly unpacked and settled back. I was here the other week (*look at previous blog*), but it is this week that I have returned for a bit of culture. I am off to the theatre tonight with my brother, my twin sis, my little sis, my mum and my dad. (I just shouted into the kitchen to my mum if anyone else is coming and she said that her friend Mo is coming as well.)
Yesterday I stayed up with my two sisters (my brother never stays up late...ever. I know, Iknow...we're trying to tempt him to the dark side but he's a stubborn one.) So anyway, the three of us watched a film late into the night. Well I was still not tired because one of our family traditions is to drink loads of tea all the time, especially at night weridly enough. Here's another thng; why is it that you only get the munchies at the most inappropriate times. I got the munchies just before we watched the film. So I made too much cheese, cucumber and salad dressing sandwich, I gave the last one to my little sis because I was full. But then when I was trying to fall asleep that night I felt hungry again (I couldn't get to sleep because of the tea family tradition thing). Make up your mind body, gawd.
I'll write one more blog after the theatre (it's only a small theatre so don't expect me talking about explosions on stage.) Good times.
Throughout this blog my dad and twin sister have been singing the Beatles directly in front of me. Also my mum just said,
"I hope he doesn't write me into his blog."
Well I just did. Fwa ha ha ha ha ha.
Over and Out.

Into the fray....of town.

Tis been a day of contemplation and walking. I got up and decided that what I needed was to go to town. I didn't need to but I quite fancied it. The first place that I went to was Spar to get some food and then walked on.
Further into town I strolled and saw a sign advertising a CD fair at the guild hall. I have no idea where the guild hall was and I didn't want to stay too long in town so I just walked on.
Ummm, then I started to daydream as I listened to my walkman (yes that was walkman, not ipod, merely drag and drop into the walkman files and that is all that needs to be done woo woo). It was due to my spaced- out- ness that I almost passed Wayne and Kim, two of my writing compadre's. As we were talking I saw someone famous, someone I had heard of many a time but had not seen or heard of before.......the singing big issue dude.
I then travelled into the waiting bosom of Waterstones and then to the leathery arms of HMV. I then went to a few more places.
It was on the way back from town that the excitement happened... I mean the embarressment. The first thing was 'the head turn.' I walked past a man who coughed, but at the time I thought that he said 'Ed', so I turned to look to him and he looked at me weirdly. The next embarressing thing that happened was that I was waiting for the red light to come on so that I could cross the road. As I waited I thought about something I had seen on youtube which I found funny. This lead me to unleash a loud but brief overture of laughter that forced itself from my chest and out of my mouth. I then stood there until finally I could quickly walk away from the other ''standers.'' (Being a self- confessed Ed is not merely a principle, it's a way of life.)
A productive day methinks.
And now I am back and writing this blog. Beep beep la go fludu gabba.
Over and out.

Sunday at home with the family.

It's been a right day for weather today as you, anonymous reader may have experienced yourself. I woke up after a good nights sleep, the normal questions buzzing round my head every time I am in a half conscious state,
"What's going on? Where am I? What's my name?" I then realised that the dream I had awoken from was actually in fact ...a dream. This lead to a mighty disappointment, I was quite enjoying it (I can't remember it now by the way.)
So I roll out of bed and pulled back the curtains and with joy I said "Well right ruddy heck, it's snow. Oh how I do love to run in the snow and create snow men. I'm just so bally excited at the moment, I must pull out my fiddle and do a jig to express my joy at this most wonderful time." I then took out the instrument and began playing, bursting out of the room, prancing about the house and then eventually skipping with my family outside so that we may all eat dinner and drink mulled wine in the snow to celebrate this most wondrous turn of events.

That was not my real reaction, funnily enough. My reaction was more along the lines of,
"Huh, it seems to have snowed during the night." (I do believed I shrugged forthwith after this statement, I may have also scrratched my head...) The last description was more exciting though so I give you permission to think that that was the event that happened upon my waking from my slumber.

The rest of the day was good. I had a Sunday roasted dinner with chicken in tasty sauce, roast potatoes and veg. The pudding was tasty, tasty stroodle, served with tasty, tasty, tasty bitter fizzy lemon juice. I then read from my tasty, tasty book and looked at things on my tasty laptop and then I began typing some tasty words which enriched my tasty short story.

...oh yeah and the snow had disappeared by about 4. 30 pm.....what's that all about?

All in all the day was very complimentary to the enjoyment of my life. It was also good to see my nan as well.
T.T.F.N
Over and Out squadron leader.

These past few days.

I've been busy researching.
"What have you been researching?".........I am assuming, dear reader that this is the visage of the thought that has just popped into your head. If this is not the case then I will answer this question anyway for the sake of continuity.
Well I have been researching ritual and how it has affected humanity, also I have been looking at the use of symbols to create understanding and symbols as a representation for a concept, thought, society or group. Fascinating stuff and not as complicated as it sounds I assure you.
(By the way I have just read that previous paragraph back and I can't understand why I sound somewhat like an Elizabethan noble...but colourful language makes these blogs more interesting I suppose so why stop now.)
What else has been going on in my life? (This question is rhetorical, this was not another question that I thought you might be thinking...even though you may be thinking it but there you go.)
I have been writing a helluva lot for my portfolio. So far I have written about one thousand and something words and it is shaping up to be a piece that I am become proud of. I will leave it as a short story for the sake of grades but at the end of this academic year I may make it into a less shorter story if you catch my drift, I have a few ideas for more characters banging around in my head so here's to another potential project.
So here I am, at my home for the weekend with my family, a book by my side and tingling fingers from writing this blog too quickly. I shall now retire from typing because I think I have said enough......and to be honest I can't be bothered to type anymore because I want to get some reading of my book under my belt.
Over and Out.

(P.S---This is just a personal memo to me but please Ed, stop using brackets for useless pieces of information during blog narratives, close brackets.)

A night out storytelling.

This happened to me yesterday, I just thought it was a funny story so I thought I would present it here. Hope you like it.
As a lot of people that know me know that I am am member of the storytelling society at Derby. It is about roughly every two weeks that an event is put on by the Flying Donkeys, a storytelling group that resides in Derby. So off we went, my friend and I to this event at the Hallmark Hotel for a night of intent listening pleasure (we were only an hour late *Ed lifts up his eyes and tuts in a 'what are we like' manner*)
So we listened to about three or four stories, my friend presenting the beginning of the epic of Gilgamesh...ah that mischievious Enkidu.
So afterwards we walk to the friends residence where I stay until about 12 at night when I decide that I should go because of my workshopping lectures that start at 9am the next. So I leave, turn right towards my house. While I walk I think about tommorrow morning, about what I will need to bring in, I reach in my bag to take out a book that I had encased in it and low and behold... don't even have my bag. My next thought leads me to the conclusion that I had left it at the hotel as I had put it down as I was listening to the stories. What else could I do? All my books that I need for lectures are in there, I had to travel all the way through town, past all the drunken people that were partying that night, walk for miles until I got to the hotel. This journey was not as easy as it sounded; I took too many wrong turns, through some areas that I have never been too before, having to ask a drunk fellah for directions (he was standing so close to me I could smell his fag breath with every word.) When I got to the hotel the doors were locked, but luckily was let in, then I had to describe my bag, they got it from some store room, I thanked the fellah who had a kind face and walked for ages until I got home at about 2: 30 in the morning. Not much of an early night...and I was frickin nackered.
Over and out.